Review: Clash of the Titans

Swords, sorcery and CGI make up this updated version of the 1981 original Clash of the Titans. Looks great, cool creatures and great fight scenes are all that hold up this badly written and unmotivated movie.

Director Louis Leterrier puts Avatar’s Sam Worthington in a chestplate and a dress to fight Greek gods and fantastic monsters. With the level of technology now, this movie was ripe for a remake but I have a feeling it could have waited a little bit longer.

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THE SETUP:
After a personal tragedy, half man/half god Perseus (Sam Worthington) decides to do whatever it takes to prevent the destruction of the city of Argos and the sacrifice of its princess Andromeda. Embracing his godly heritage while fighting giant scorpions, evil kings and Medusa, Perseus must figure out how to stop the evil Hades (Ralph Fiennes) and his monster, the Kraken.

THE THOUGHTS:
I grew up on the original Clash of the Titans. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen Bubo the mechanic owl fly through the air. It’s a part of my childhood which may stimulate interest for a remake but can it ever live up to my memories? Yeah, no.

Don’t get me wrong, this is a beautiful movie. The scenery, CGI and action sequences (though a little over-edited) are amazing. The set pieces, from Medusa’s lair to the Stygian Witches volcano home were nothing short of awesome. I was even a little worried the computer-generated characters would be terrible but the giant scorpions and the Kraken were really well done. What really stood out was Pegasus. You really could believe that horse could fly. It was only Medusa who came off looking a little fake.

The problems unfortunately outweighed the good.

  • If this is Greece, how come Worthington jumps between English, Australian and American accents?
  • Why does Perseus care what happens to Argos? What’s his motivation? Their actions cause a huge tragedy for him, he has no connection to the princess and they treat him like crap when he arrives. Sorry, just cause he’s a hero doesn’t do it for me.
  • The script. Wow. Cheesy. Even with heavyweights like Liam Neeson as Zeus and Fiennes as Hades, there’s only so much they can do with those bad Shakespearean words.

This was a movie that was shot normally and then updated in 3-D to ride the Avatar-wave of popularity. It’s a cash grab. I wasn’t impressed when they did it with Alice in Wonderland so I skipped it entirely for this. Sorry, if it’s shot to be in 3-D, you have my money. If not, nice try.

CLASH OF THE TITANS Rating:
1 star – it’s a renter. An OK updated version of the original that would have benefited from script-writing 101. It’s fun and will look better on a big screen than a TV but a collection of pretty pictures, cool CGI and men in skirts do not a great movie make. Not really necessary to RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Coming Attractions:
Salt (release date: July 23, 2010) – Angelina Jolie likes to kick your ass. Ever since Mr. and Mrs. Smith, she’s gotten good at it (I’m ignoring Tomb Raider). Me? I’m really A-OK with that. Not a lot of women are pulling off the buttkicker role since Sigourney Weaver gave it up so Angelina as a possible Russian spy trying to clear her name…I’m in.

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Random Recommendations
Unleashed aka. Danny the Dog (2005) – Jet Li. Anthony Hopkins. Jet Li. Morgan Freeman. Jet Li. He’s been raised as an attack dog, to fight and kill when he’s released from his collar. The story is of Danny’s discovery that he’s a person and the value in that…with some asskicking tomfoolery in there as well.

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Clash of the Titans (1981) – How could I not possibly recommend the original? Forget Harry Hamlin’s perm, this is Ray Harryhausen doing what he does best. It may seem a little cheesy from today’s standards but this is where it all started. From Jason and the Argonauts, Seven Voyage of Sinbad to this. Enjoy.

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 Review: Clash of the Titans
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Comments

  1. Well I’m never going to see it. So whatever. Salt…maybe. I look forward to your take on that.

  2. Hey, I found your blog in a new directory of blogs. I dont know how your blog came up, must have been a typo, anyway cool blog, I bookmarked you. 🙂

  3. Thanks Herman. You can subscribe as an RSS feed too if that’s easier. Can you remember which directory I was on?

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